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Livingsocial put out a facebook ad a while back about Abbotsford’s “Bucket List”. What are the 365 things you need to do in Abbotsford before you die? I must confess, the first thing that sprung to my mind was “Leave.”

Abbotsford is a city that takes a little too much pride in its folksy-ness. If you’re a kid growing up here with a love for science, literature, and very particular styles of Norwegian Black Metal, it’s a culture that can kind of get on your nerves. You want to flee from the blank stares of disgust and confusion to a place that’s not a conservative party stronghold! A place where one can find intelligentsia, symposia, or at the very least some decent dim sum. Unfortunately, many Abbotsford escapees are struck down by real estate prices and an unfriendly job market.

The more I meet other professionals in this town, the more I get the sense that they feel they are settling by moving here. They believe that because they didn’t have the grades, the charisma, or overall business sense they are banished to view Canada’s Pacific jewel at a distance while knee-deep in the Cow manure. Their dreams have taken a back seat to adult reality.

It’s a good thing I’m living the dream here.

When I worked in Vancouver, I was subject to management that wasn’t even on this continent for an hourly pittance. Now I have my own company, and I feast or famine on my own efforts. I belong to the Fraser Valley Ruby Brigade, a programming club so renowned that it attracts developers from Vancouver to its austere ranks. This city has so much room to grow technologically. And I do this all from a nice, new, affordable two bedroom apartment where I live with my beautiful wife. Am I embarrassed to live in Abbotsford? As it stands right now, I’d be embarrassed to live anywhere else.

When I started V2S web design, I decided I was going to be a friendlier, more approachable kind of web company. I’m the web designer that will answer all of your questions, no matter how basic! I’ll have screencasts and little blog posts de-mystifying all of this cybernetic greek for you! I’ll even call up you business and tell you how I can make the internet work for your business.

Reality is hard.

Screencasts take time and effort to produce. It involves being able to (shudder) listen to the sound of your own voice. Blog posts have to be punched out like license plates when I want my writing flow out like an artist’s painting. And calling businesses directly? Cold-calling is cold-calling, no matter how much background research you’ve done. It’s almost like you’re holding a cardboard sign out in Sumas saying “Will Code 4 Food.”

It would be easy to tell myself that marketing just isn’t my thing, that I should hire a professional to do it. But as it stands, I’m the only professional I know who will work for free. Sure, one blog post on my business site, won’t bring in much business, but what about 5, 10, or 50? I might not be putting out Dostoyevsky, but I’ve got to trade my artist’s beret for a bricklayer’s cap. Like it or not, the screencasts, blog posts, and sales calls are my products. Raw and untested they may be, but they won’t be able to do anything if don’t put them out there.

Over the years I’ve bought into the idea that innovation is the most important thing a company can have. That’s why you need to know why manhole covers are round to get a job at Microsoft. I for one had to build a catapult out of common office supplies at Electronic Arts. We are told as programmers and designers that if we don’t have a constant flow of ideas rushing through our heads, we might as well be serving fries for a living.
Luckily, I’m overstocked with ideas. Every time I get a brainstorm, I’d corner my wife to tell her all about how I’m going to CHANGE THE INDUSTRY with this idea I came up with 5 seconds ago. Recently after suffering through another one of my Doc Brown-like neural spazzes, Sara reminded me of all the projects I haven’t been able to get through because of all these ideas I’ve been having. There was the screencast series, the local theatre ticketing system, and scores of novels and plays that just never got finished. She said they were great ideas, but I needed to follow through some of them first.
When she was going through PDP (BC’s teacher training program) one of her advisors told her that not all of her lessons needed to be completely original. Teachers work every night to plan their next day. Most will strive to find the most creative way to teach the material, but sometimes you have to take a lesson out of an activity book or adapt a worksheet from the internet, otherwise you’ll burn out. The important thing is that the lesson is there for the kids that morning, not that you’ve reinvented the wheel.
Nowhere is this advice more important than in the tech industry. We are so concerned with creating the next big thing that we forget that execution is important too. We call the leaders of our industry “innovators”, but we’re really praising them for a proper recital of yesterdays ideas.

SEO marketers, Mortgage brokers, and business people everywhere! Lend me your ears, for I come to tell you how NOT to market on the internet.

There are so many blogs on how to market online, how to find your spirit, how to “crush it” these days.There’s no way that all of these techniques could work all of the time. There are ways not to market on the internet. Why else would there be an extension called adblock?  It all sounds too good to be true. If it was all true, we wouldn’t be hovering around 12 percent unemployment right now. You could just put your resume on google adsense and some giant conglomerate would take care of your career needs for all time.

So let’s think about this. Can you think of a time whenever you’ve been sold something while surfing and have been completely disengaged? I can think of a few. Some banner ads have been pure eye cancer for me. If I ever receive a facebook message that starts with “Dear Friend,” I know somebody wants to talk to me about my mortgage, which I already bought and am making payments quite regularly, thank you very much. Those especially get on my nerves.

I don’t my being sold stuff on Facebook, especially from my friends, but would it kill anybody to leverage all this personal information I’ve got out there? If you want to get at my money, it would help to look me in the eye first. Business is about finding pain and alleviating it for money. How about finding my pain instead of causing it?

So in summation: Mass Facebook messages = How not to Market on the internet. Does anyone else know any bad online marketing ideas?

Sara and I were making a trip down to the states. We’d made it across the border, picked up some food, and we were on our way to lodgings for the night. No sooner did we make a complete stop at a 4-way stop sign, did we hear a small “beep” coming from behind us. A little puzzled, we kept on our way, until there came another “beep” when I stopped at the next stop sign. Sara looked behind us to find some old lay waving her index finger at us. For What?! I thought, Following traffic laws in a foreign country?

Luckily, she turned away at the next intersection. We thought our road troubles were over for the day. Then, we come to the next stop sign, and the passenger side door on the truck in front of us opens.

Then Bluto steps out on to the street.

I wish I was making this up. He was well over 6 feet, bearded, bald and with rage in his eyes. He marched over to our car and yelled “Open your window! Open your window right goddamn now!”

This guy thought WE were the ones honking at the stop lights!

My brain started racing through my options. Was I going to have to flee? Would I have to run this guy down? Needless to say, there was no way I was going to roll down my window so this joker could get at me and my wife. Yelled as much out at him as he proceeded to curse us out. I probably didn’t do much to defuse the situation. Sara was apologizing profusely beside me. He smacked the back of his hand against our car, got back into his pickup, and drove off.

First of all, I couldn’t believe this had happened. You only hear about such things in the news precisely because they are rare. I kept wondering if I’d done the right thing. Was this guy going to be on the lookout for our car now? More importantly, did I stand up to him properly? I know it’s a stupid thing to think about when your life could have been in danger, but I think on some level all guys want to deal with disagreements with an equal amount of grace and ferocity. When there are so many variables to consider (not the least of which the safety of my wife), I don’t think it’s a cop-out to keep with in that two-ton steel advantage I call an automobile. As a fellow large person, I couldn’t begin to figure out how this guy somehow thought he could use his size to make me do what he wanted. It was probably the same reason he was riding shotgun in a rusted out pick-up truck in the first place.

Submitted for your approval: 54 vintage breakfast cereals.

I remember eating so many bowls of these things, or at least watching so many of their commercials. Sugar breakfast cereals were kind of a tradition in my family growing up. Not an every day occurrence, of course. A sugar cereal was always a special treat. Every time we’d head down to the cabin at Birch Bay we’d head over to the grocery store in Blaine. My brother, my sister and I each got to pick one sugar cereal we’d be able to eat for the rest of the vacation. Even now that I’m grown up I’ll still pick up a box of Captain Crunch while I’m staying at the cabin.

Still, the line-up of cereals has gotten so sparse now. General Mills is pretty much the only maker of branded cereals these days since Ralston sold their brands to them in 1994. A lot of the sweeter cereals were discontinued. The rest of the cereal aisle is taken up by generic look-a-likes with razor thin profit margins like “Fruit rings” or “Fortune Marshmallows”. Blech.

Why does breakfast have to be this way?

What if we took some of those generic look-a-likes and branded them like the cereals of yore? I’m not talking about a large scale operation. These would be limited run cereals, with box art and characters that people will drive for miles and pay a premium for them. Who wouldn’t want to take a bite of a Penny Arcade cereal or Carl Sagan’s “Astronomo’s”? You might be able to find people who would pay for the privilege of eating their own custom cereal from a box of their own design.

The time has come for a cafepress of food. The cost of food processing must be so cheap these days. Custom shapes would be nice, but I’m not thinking of something complicated like a 3D food printer (as awesome as that would be). That one star shape was used by WWF, GI joe, and the Swedish Chef. You could just give people a range of shapes to start off with. Customization is the very soul of the internet age. Why should breakfast be any exception?

Star Wars: The Experience at the Pacific Science Center was amazing. The production models and costumes were simply works of art. I can’t believe that they worked with mostly off the shelf technology, yet they produced something so realistic. I was so close to the original Millennium Falcon model that I could see the laser burns on the hull. It’s like they were telling a story through a sculpture of wood, LEDs, and molded plastic tank parts. 501st legion also showed up to pay their respects and pose for some sweet photographs. And then there was the Millenium Falcon theatre thing! I feel so bad for having Sara wait in line for all that, but it was all so totally worth it!

I wish I could work on something like Star Wars. I guess I’m unique in that when I look behind the magician’s curtain, it doesn’t ruin the magic for me, it makes it more exciting. I feel as though I’m looking at the product of a real life philosopher’s stone: Something as mundane as lead has been turned into gold through the power of illusion.

I love hearing stories about how they made this entire universe out random junk they found at a medical surplus store. All the failed plans and wrong turns just fascinate me. It took all their ingenuity and cunning to do what they did. No one told them they needed this degree or that skill, they just had 12 million dollars and a deadline to hit, and they did it! They turned a potential disappointment into one of the most important cultural forces of the last century. When my mid-life crisis hits, you can spare me your sports cars and fantasy baseball or fantasy rock and roll camps. Anybody who wants to profit off of my self-actualization can send me to Industrial Light and Magic camp.

I remember when the Kobe earthquake happened in 1995. Back then, like now, there were the scenes of toppled buildings, the rising casualty counts, and the security camera footage of offices shaking themselves to pieces. Still, it all seemed so far away coming from hourly news broadcasts and newspapers.

Maybe it’s because of all the social networks I’m on, maybe it’s because I’m older and have a much wider network, but seeing my friends check in with their loved ones overseas is making this situation a new kind of emotional reality. It feels like this is happening to our neighbours instead of on another continent. I’m thankful for the good news. Most of the statuses have been about friends and family being safe and sound. It’s made donating a lot easier. I’ve already given to my local Red Cross, and I probably will again soon.

There have been a few insensitive remarks about the disaster from within and without Japan about how this disaster is somehow Karma. Typical baseless human pattern-seeking behaviour. It’s bound to happen any time a reasonably powerful developed country is in trouble. It happened during 9/11, and it’s happening here.  The Pacific Tectonic Plate doesn’t care what kind of economies are sitting on its edge. It’s going to move just the same.

All in all, I believe the major lessons of the Sendai Earthquake of 2011 are:

-Building Standards Save Lives.

-Donate to the Canadian Red Cross by texting REDCROSS to 30333.

-This Earthquake prevention guide from Shizuoka prefecture is both handy and easy to read.

-Distance is no longer a factor in the human cost of natural disasters. No matter where we are, no matter how far away, we are all in this together.

Mister Chairman, fellow toastmasters, I’d like to Welcome again our guests for joining us during open house. Some of you may be wondering what we’re doing here half past the crack of dawn every Friday. Well, as I’ve said before, if I can give a speech out of one bloodshot eye, I could give one anywhere. But what else are we doing here? The Toastmasters mandate says we’re here to make effective oral communication a worldwide reality.

Now why would we want to do something like that? Sure, it could help you with a career or a best man’s speech, but what does public speaking do really? I’ve only been part of the club since December, but from what I’ve seen, public speaking is the art of creating a moment.

Right you are not just listening to the words coming out of my mouth. You are hearing my voice. You are seeing me gesture. You are seeing the way I stand. You’re also experiencing the sights and sounds of this room and your fellow audience members. This is something that you can’t get from a letter, a phone call, or even a video. It is a moment in time, happening right here, right now.

In that moment you’ve created, something wonderful happens. Things change. Suddenly your idea for a little weekend side business becomes a real commercial venture. Suddenly a rag-tag sports team you coach becomes a true cohesive unit. Suddenly the friends and family at your wedding realize just how much your new wife means to you.

At Toastmasters, we are not just filling space behind a podium. We are bringing ideas to people. When many people focus on an idea at the same time it creates a moment. And in the very moment, the world changes.

I’d like to write down one of those unwritten rules: Better Prolific than Good.

It doesn’t matter how good your ideas are, or if you know what you’re talking about. The public at large would rather see 10 mediocre works of art than 1 superlative opus. This applies to books, movies, software, furniture, or any other human endeavour. It doesn’t matter how good it is. Society is more likely to encourage you if you just keep cranking it out.

This applies to the highest levels of business and achievement. Electronic Arts got big because it could produce a Madden game every year for the past 20 years. Apple has a yearly product cycle. If you don’t like the current model, just wait until next year. Even perennial products like Coca-Cola have to keep producing ads to keep their product in touch with people.

Even if you are bad at what you are trying to do, being prolific is a win-win proposition. The more you produce, the more you’ll be able to look back on your prose or code and think, here’s where I can improve, here’s where I can work on my game. It becomes a process called “Deliberate Practice”. I’m reading all about it in Talent is Over-rated by Geoff Colvin. If it’s mentally demanding, repeatable, provides constant feedback, and not necessarily fun, it’s kind of practice that’ll take you from struggling to world class.

A lot of people say that we lose our capacity to be prolific in grade school. It’s where we develop our fear of failure. I disagree. That damage is done at the post-secondary level, where your entire grade is based on 4 papers and an exam. That’s 4 opportunities for feedback before you are judged for all time. If you fail, it’s another grand to retake the course. In grade school, the feedback is constant. Teachers work every day to find new activities to develop student understanding. There are many opportunities to mess up an assignment, but there are just as many opportunities to improve.

I have yet to find a K-12 teacher who wouldn’t give their eye-teeth for a class full of students who try to find new ways to learn the material. Meanwhile, as an adult I’ve been scolded for not taking a professor’s perspective on Ginsberg. Take a look at the Clayburn Middle Youtube channel. Almost all the videos have been shot and edited by students. If Clayburn has any problems, I can guarantee you those kids behind the cameras aren’t part of it.

As adults, we think we’ve figured it all out. We don’t think we have to go through the embarrassment of learning anything new. However, the world’s changing so fast that we have to learn new things no matter what we do. It’s best to get comfortable in that situation. The only way to do that is to be prolific.